OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
