I am puke
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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