How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
