Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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