She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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