This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
