and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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