The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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