I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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