It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
