; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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