How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
