member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
