The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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