Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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