I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
