So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
