how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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