The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?