What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour