Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (424): you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain http://tfl.nu/zpba
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (1688)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today http://tfl.nu/9i5r
  Replies (56) Good night (901) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66
  Replies (38) Good night (7318) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/w091
  Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (3952)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Happy St. Patrick's Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen.... (508): Happy St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/t6ex
  Replies (2) Good night (3231) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel. http://tfl.nu/fcxh
  Replies (21) Good night (4689) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it http://tfl.nu/dcde
  Replies (5) Good night (2941) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90
  Replies (8) Good night (1201) Bad night (4069)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period. http://tfl.nu/nfk9
  Replies (10) Good night (3035) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night http://tfl.nu/i23x
  Replies (1) Good night (1993) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge. http://tfl.nu/mw98
  Replies (8) Good night (2594) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious. http://tfl.nu/2nhd
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (1552)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick http://tfl.nu/o4c5
  Replies (10) Good night (632) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  20.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day. (1-801): 20. http://tfl.nu/vqhd
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean? http://tfl.nu/y06u
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (278)

Randomize