dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
