We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
