maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
