Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
