return my video game
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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