Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
