foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
