the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
