There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
50% drunk capacity currently
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
