So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
