I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
