"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
