We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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