I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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