are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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