so that wasnt chicken after all
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
