He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
