I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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