jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
