i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
