is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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