Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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