I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
