How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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