Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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