There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
