He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ok first of all what the fuck
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