I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
