I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
