so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
