So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
