she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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