Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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