38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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