OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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