why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
