I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
not ubering you a puppy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
