Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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