he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
