You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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