Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
