break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize