i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
