Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
